Chaos to Connected - Helping Parents Navigate Challenging Behavior with Connection; Christian moms, behavior management, positive parenting, discipline, tantrums, aggression, biblical parenting
Do you feel like your child’s whining and tantrums are out of control? Are you wondering if what you’re seeing is actually normal? Do you feel like you are at your wits end, walking on eggshells, and/or just don’t know what to do anymore? Or maybe you feel exhausted and frustrated trying to manage your own triggers because you keep repeating the same yelling and lecturing cycle over and over again. Are you desperately trying to get your child to use a calming strategy but he/she refuses or it’s just not working? If you nodded along with any of that, you’re in the right place! Hi, I’m Kaili, pediatric occupational therapist, connection focused parent coach, and momma to 3 sweet littles. Back in 2020, I started an in-home daycare so I could stay home with my kids while making an income and let’s just say it didn’t go as planned. My oldest became very aggressive, something he had never been before. I tried all of the calming strategies and creating different spaces for him and NONE of it worked. I was really struggling because that is all I had been teaching other families to do for the last decade and to find out it wasn’t helping left me feeling even more hopeless. When I finally found the solution that transformed our family’s lives, I knew I needed to share it with other families in hopes they wouldn’t feel alone, emotionally exhausted, and spend their days wishing for naptime/bedtime like I had been. I created this podcast to give you tangible strategies to decrease your child’s behavior and also help you to learn to manage and resolve your own triggers. This podcast will help you gain more awareness and insights into child development and the root cause of your child’s behavior as well as help you break generational patterning that isn’t serving you. Inside this podcast you will find episodes filled with tips, tools, perspective shifts, and biblical truth to help you throughout your motherhood journey. Most of what I share is going to go against your natural responses and what mainstream will tell you to do, but that is because it includes what most of society is missing when they look at children and their behavior…CONNECTION. It is a vital necessity for all of us to operate out of our thinking brains and use logic, problem solving, reasoning, judgment, and impulse control, specifically when it comes to our responses and behaviors. While these strategies can be implemented for all ages, I focus primarily on 1-10 year olds since that is what I have most personal and professional experience with. If you want to stop feeling overwhelmed, stuck, and on the verge of your breaking point and truly make shifts in your parenting, your actions, thoughts, and responses, to gain more clarity, peace, and joy in your home, then let’s get to it! I know it can feel hard to step into the unknown, especially because you feel like you’ve tried it all, and honestly sometimes it feels easier to stay in a harder place because it’s familiar. But it’s not what God has for you or your child(ren). So take a minute, breathe deeply, and then join me as we jump into managing behaviors with connection! XO Kaili Connect with me: hello@kailizcoaching.com Instagram: @kaili.zeiher Join my weekly newsletter: https://chaostoconnected.myflodesk.com/cvuin24b94 Website + Coaching Opportunities: https://stan.store/KJZ112815
Listen on:
Episodes
Friday Mar 18, 2022
Friday Mar 18, 2022
Have you ever typed in a google search bar…”how do I get my child to stop crying?” or “why is my child crying so much?”
Today we are diving into the crying. What it means, why it’s beneficial, and how you can support your child through it to build your connection. And if you’re new, or you’ve forgotten, more connection = better behavior.
Here are a few key takeaways to help you understand more about your child as they work through a meltdown/tantrum/emotional expression…
Their prefrontal cortex detaches when they are upset and therefore they truly can’t rationalize with you during these times.
An emotional expression generally is a way to signal you as their caregiver that they are in need of someone to listen and support them.
An emotional expression signifies that your child feels safe to share his/her feelings with you.
If we squash a child’s ability to express emotion we are hindering their learning process.
So how do you actually help through this process?? With a strategy called Stay Listening.
It is very simple, but that doesn’t necessarily mean easy. Tune in as we talk more specifically about how to actually do it AND get results.
Special Time ebook & Tame Your Triggers Audio have both been upgraded to MELTDOWN MANAGEMENT Mini Training! Get it here → https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64406aa91df9ae473e5a55e3
If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of exactly what to do, then DM me over on IG or send me an email at kjzeiher@gmail.com and let's connect!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/
This week, I'm challenging you to hold back your words and simply listen during a meltdown. If you accept this challenge, I’d love to hear how it goes!
XO Kaili
Friday Mar 11, 2022
Friday Mar 11, 2022
Do you envision this peaceful bedtime routine that is quick and easy but you end up with 3 trips to the bathroom, 5 drinks of water, 10 more hugs and kisses, begging for more stories and the repeated tucking and re-tucking in??
Today we dive into why this is and the 2 key strategies you can be implementing today to prevent the battle of the bedtime routine.
The constant requests and attempts to control what is happening is due to the buildup of feelings and emotions just under the surface that the body naturally tries to expel. By asking for another glass of water, your child is asking you to set a firm, but loving limit.
Limits + Stay Listening = Connection
Connection = minds ready and able to think
Minds ready and able to think = smoother bedtime routine and the ability to go to sleep
Special Time ebook & Tame Your Triggers Audio have both been upgraded to MELTDOWN MANAGEMENT Mini Training! Get it here → https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64406aa91df9ae473e5a55e3
If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of exactly what to do, then DM me over on IG or send me an email at kjzeiher@gmail.com and let's connect!
Special Time Podcast episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-struggling-with-your-childs-behaviors-ep-1/id1609008872?i=1000550595812
Blog post on Stay Listening: https://chaostoconnected.com/stay-listening/
Blog post on Setting Limits: https://chaostoconnected.com/setting-limits/
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/
XO-
Kaili
Friday Mar 04, 2022
Friday Mar 04, 2022
In today's episode we are talking all about labeling a child's feelings in the moment of a meltdown.
DID YOU KNOW....
Research actually shows naming feelings pulls children away from feeling their feelings?? The effort it takes to transition from what their brain was created to do (expel negative feelings/energy/experiences) to either agreeing or disagreeing with us actually stops them from focusing on releasing that feeling.
Plus, we could be labeling incorrectly!
You may be wondering, okay, then what am I supposed to do??
Listen in as we talk through 3 reasons why you don't need to label your child's feelings AND strategies to help them learn more about emotions and how to identify them.
______________________________________________________________________
Special Time ebook & Tame Your Triggers Audio have both been upgraded to MELTDOWN MANAGEMENT Mini Training! Get it here → https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64406aa91df9ae473e5a55e3
If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of exactly what to do, then DM me over on IG or send me an email at kjzeiher@gmail.com and let's connect!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/
XO-
Kaili
Friday Feb 25, 2022
Friday Feb 25, 2022
Have you ever been in the midst of a tantrum, whining, sibling fighting and found yourself at a loss of what to do?
All of the obvious things don’t necessarily yield the results you are wanting and it leaves you feeling more guilty than relieved?
Today, we are talking all about the #1 strategy I use to gain compliance or obedience during anything that is not a full blown meltdown….PLAY LISTENING.
Play is truly the work of the child and every time I have intentionally utilized it during those challenging moments it has had a 100% success rate!
As an adult, this can be challenging for several different reasons. Push through and get creative. Energy + engagement make all of the difference.
Tune in as we chat different ways to PLAY to encourage obedience and compliance in those moments when you have to get out the door or you just need a break from the conflict and chaos!
BONUS: extra ideas for those aggressive behaviors, managing behaviors amongst a larger crowd of children (a larger family, daycare, classroom ,etc), transitions, and MORE!
Special Time ebook & Tame Your Triggers Audio have both been upgraded to MELTDOWN MANAGEMENT Mini Training! Get it here → https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64406aa91df9ae473e5a55e3
If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of exactly what to do, then DM me over on IG or send me an email at kjzeiher@gmail.com and let's connect!
Learn more about Stay Listening here: https://chaostoconnected.com/stay-listening/
Special time episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/are-you-struggling-with-your-childs-behaviors-ep-1/id1609008872?i=1000550595812
“Flip the Switch” play ideas: https://chaostoconnected.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/FLIPTHESWITCH.pdf
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/
XO-
Kaili
Friday Feb 18, 2022
Friday Feb 18, 2022
"For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of." Matthew 12:34
Have you ever heard the phrases the "terrible twos" or "threenager"? In this episode I'm diving into why we do this and why we should reconsider. The words we speak over our children (whether they are present or not) not only impacts them, but it affects the lens to which we view their behaviors.
Behaviors are either a heart issue or in this case, most likely, a developmental progression. When we can shift our words to more positive descriptors it can truly help us to change how we maintain our own regulation and help support our children through their upsets.
"We have to be willing to have an exceptional child to have an exceptional child."
Special Time ebook & Tame Your Triggers Audio have both been upgraded to MELTDOWN MANAGEMENT Mini Training! Get it here → https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64406aa91df9ae473e5a55e3
If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of exactly what to do, then DM me over on IG or send me an email at kjzeiher@gmail.com and let's connect!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/
XO-
Kaili
Wednesday Feb 09, 2022
Wednesday Feb 09, 2022
Do you struggle with behaviors on a regular basis? There is SO much advice out there - time outs, different punishments and consequences, rewards, bribes, sticker charts, the list goes on!
But what if there was one simple thing you could do each day that didn’t require any of that?! Introducing SPECIAL TIME! In today’s episode I dive deep into what special time is (it’s different than 1:1 time) and how you can implement it into your routine no matter what season of life you are in! This tool has transformed our lives and I have received a lot of feedback on how well it is working in other momma’s lives too!
Special Time ebook & Tame Your Triggers Audio have both been upgraded to MELTDOWN MANAGEMENT Mini Training! Get it here → https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64406aa91df9ae473e5a55e3
If you are struggling to find strategies that help correct the challenging behaviors you are walking through and are ready to establish a Behavior Blueprint with a step by step plan of exactly what to do, then DM me over on IG or send me an email at kjzeiher@gmail.com and let's connect!
Here is a free guide that covers the basics:
http://chaostoconnected.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/special-time-guide.pdf
I pray this encourages and blesses you! I challenge you to take the Special Time challenge and start implementing it today!
Connect with me here: https://www.instagram.com/kailijozeiher/
XO-
Kaili
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